Hanskinews

Read this if you want to know what Tim and Ania are up to

Living the Cliché April 6, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tim @ 2:52 pm

I think that one of the core values of my generation, or at least most of the people I grew up with, is originality. While we pretty much all want to belong, we also feel a strong need to be at least a little bit different. So I wouldn’t typically use phrases like “bundle of joy” without a noticeable dose of irony in my voice. Now, though, after I change Baby Ben’s diaper and swaddle him up real good, and he looks like a compact package of zen noticing and studying the world, I turn to Ania and say proudly, “Look at our little bundle of joy!”

There was an article in the Onion a long time ago – “Miracle of Birth Occurs for 83 Billionth Time“. When I first read it, I thought it was really funny and clever. Now, I’m a little offended, and find it kind of mean-spirited. Of course, it is 100% true and correct (and still funny), but to me it misses the point. The miracle isn’t so much that it happened generally, but that it happened to us. And for some reason, that feels incredibly special and unique. So maybe that is why I walk around, carrying Baby Ben like a football, telling people to “look at my little bundle of joy!” It just doesn’t feel like a cliché at all when it happens to you.

And so I’ve had all these moments where I am doing intensely mundane things but feeling really special and proud. Like the other day when I drove to Buy Buy Baby to buy a bunch of nipples for the bottles that came with the insanely expensive breast pump (you’d think they could throw in a few…). There I was, exhausted from sleeping the last three nights on the crappiest futon in the history of futons in the hospital room, trudging toward the check-out line with an arm-full of polymer nipples, and yet I felt like I was glowing. I stopped in front of a rack of bibs for 10 minutes, trying to decide which one best expressed the love and admiration my son must surely be reciprocating back to me (I settled on “MY DAD IS MY HERO” in camouflage, before snapping out of my trance and quickly moving along). I am no longer one of those people who is trying to fill up the baby registry with all manner of cute onesies and shock absorbing strollers. I am a dad who, even just a week in, has been in the trenches and feels like he now belongs to the club.

 

Will our baby be cuter than…. October 12, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tim @ 2:07 am

 

The Things We Give Up October 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ania @ 3:45 pm

As a pregnant woman, you expect to make sacrifices for the baby. I’ve always been OK with giving up hard drugs like heroin, cocaine, crack, preventing fetal alcohol syndrome, increasing birth weight by quitting smoking. It just seemed like a good time to make a few key life changes.

But soft cheese? (look how good it looks)

I mean really, is that necessary? Deli meats? Sushi? Hot dogs? Lox? Mayo? Rare steak? Kielbasa? What is a snobby Polish NYer to eat? What do women in Paris, Krakow, and Oslo do? I’d like to see the numbers on how many babies died of Lox poisoning or EColi or over-saturation with nitrates from bologna (what I wouldn’t give right now for one slice of bologna). But still I forgo all this deliciousness and have added my own vices to the verboten list- the most significant and career inhibiting-caffeine, even though it’s apparently allowed. Don’t ask me why a performance enhancing drug is OK but a slab of $20 Brie is considered Listeria infested.

Other sacrifices I’ve made that are not necessary. Running. Seems like it’s not contraindicated but I just don’t feel right doing it. With every step, I imagine the baby falling through the cervix. Tennis. Bleaching my teeth. Highlights. Manicures (although I am flexible with that one). Taking care of Rio (for no health reason, just laziness, see blog about intense fatigue). Taking care of Tim (as much).

The hardest thing to give up has definitely been my long-planned research trip to the border of Burma. October was supposed to have been spent on the border of Burma and Thailand, training Burmese refugees in basic medical care through Columbia’s International Emergency Medicine Fellowship-an amazing experience that I had been putting together for months. Unfortunately, that part of Burma is “resistant malaria falciparum endemic” meaning that the baby would almost definitely contract a horrible and resistant malaria during the crucial organogenesis phase, esp since pregnant women are apparently mosquito magnets (is it the glow?). So no international research, even though I still considered it…how bad can a little malaria be?

Things I plan on giving up still:

My body. Right now I’ll be the first to say I look amazing. My boobs got so big it makes me wonder how I ever did with anything less voluptuous. My tummy is still small, my hair is thick. Ok, so the acne is as much a problem as it was for Jim Butler in the 7th grade, but makeup has gotten a lot better. Overall, I’m a knockout. However, I realize and anticipate the stretching of the belly so big that the skin cannot but sag, hips widen and potentially create a “mom ass,” nipple areolas so big they seem to be the cause of the low hung bust. These I can deal with. Nothing compares with the ultimate carnal sacrifice… (sorry parents and kids) …The Vagasshole.

The Vagasshole was coined by Tim after I explained to him that with 4th degree tears from childbirth, you can actually damage so much of your perineum that the anus and vagina become one. A gyn consult on a patient in Urgent Care actually stated “cannot locate anus.” It may be funny to many of you, but I’m not laughing.

 

I couldn’t even wait 6 weeks for a West Elm couch October 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ania @ 3:23 pm

What do you do after you find out you’re having a baby in 9 months. On the one hand, it’s a long time away. I’ve never had to wait 9 months for anything. A couch comes in at most 6 weeks, and that is even infuriatingly too long. On the other hand, there doesn’t seem to be enough time to change your entire life around in preparation.

I spent hours looking around our 350sq ft 3rd floor walk-up that we adore trying to imagine how it would work, “if we loft the bed and put in a futon, get rid of the dining room table and open up the balcony, a baby bouncer just might fit.” We’d need a bigger place, a full-time (or a live-in?) nanny, baby equipment. Oh, the baby equipment.

There was what I call “Baby Gear” Magazine, full of new strollers, breast pumps, baby carriers, and pregnant mom outfits. Unfortunately, there are not as many versions and issues as “Modern Bride,” my last era of magazine obsession, as pregnancy products don’t really vary month-to-month. There’s only so many ways to change a boob suction device and make it hot. Same category as the “Tough Titties” nipple cream. Yikes. A lot of “Dear Abby, my vaginal discharge has been thicker and fuller than before I got pregnant, should I be worried?” type of columns.

And speaking of couches, we needed a new couch. I imagined a sexy West Elm brown leather modern sectional but could accept a Jennifer Convertibles pull out. And a new rug. Curtains. A metal mesh chair. To match the metallic blue walls. Our entire life was going to change, including our dining room table which I planned on painting a rusty red to match the Communist propaganda posters we have on display. Yes, we would be the cool NY young family, with modern ( imposter overstock) furniture and edgy baby décor. Our place would be a model of cleanliness and organization, mostly because of “Contain Yourself” approach I would take on in the next few months.

See picture below of how I imagine our next apartment; feel free to place a baby bouncer where ever you feel it won’t interfere with the feng shui.

 

July 4th, 2008 July 4, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tim @ 1:18 pm

Just an announcement.  In celebration of our nation’s independence, Tim and Ania are blogging again.  Stay tuned.

 

It’s a miracle that Kicia #3 is still alive September 7, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ania @ 2:11 am

When my brother was in HS (the exact timing is still debated, more on this later) my parents got him a cat so that he wouldn’t have to come home to an empty house. While some families might play with the new kitten, poring over possible names that fit (I imagine them saying, “let’s call her Ashes for the gray in her coat!”), the Ringwelskis do not waste their time. Kicia #3 was the logical next step after Kicia #1 and #2. Kicia (pronounced “Keet-sha”) is not even a name; in Polish, Kicia means female cat. Kicia #1 ran off mysteriously at the age of who knows, probably about 5, and Kicia #2 disappeared mysteriously. We say disappeared because unlike Kicia #1, she was not very adventurous and would not have wandered off intentionally.

Kicia #3 was the best of the 3, acting much like a dog. As a kitten, she climbed into our beds, used the soft little pads of her feet to smack us in the face in the morning when she wanted us to get up. She was playful, loving, in short, a success.

Until she disappeared for 3 days. My parents and brother (I was away in college and heard about this second hand) searched all over but could not find her. Only when they heard meowing overhead did they realize she had been stuck up in a tree about 100 ft up. My dad, the ex-fireman/contractor, got out the fireman ladder and got her down. This event marked the beginning of Kicia’s eating disorder. We theorized that the lack of food sparked some crazy eating gene in her head, because she quickly gained weight as she stuffed herself with anything and everything around. In no time, she became obese and her health suffered dramatically. She preferred to stay indoors (after the disappearances of Kicia #1 and #2 the Ringwelskis encouraged the inactivity), but when she did sneak out, the sight was pathetic. Our property was overrun by squirrels and sometimes, Kicia #3 gave into her feline instincts and made attempts to chase the critters. However, she consistently aborted the pursuit after 2-3 steps, clearly short of breath. My cousin from Sweden asked when the kittens were to be born. When one Christmas eve, Kicia found an enormous box and climbed into it, as cats often do, her weight problem was evident. She filled the entire thing with her massive abdomen, which when walking nearly scraped on the ground.

My parents instituted a strict meat-only diet and started letting the cat roam the outside. With smaller portions, our eternally voracious cat was forced to supplement her diet with killings. These were initially impossible to capture, but as she lost weight and increased her exercise tolerance, Kicia was occasionally found devouring an entire chipmunk outside of our dining room sliding door. Despite the added calories of an occasional catch, it seemed this system worked and Kicia slowly lost her belly, although the saggy skin remained. She eventually became a fully outdoor cat.

Years went by and Kicia continued her outdoor existence, as my brother left for college, my parents moved twice, and Tim and I got Rio. No one really paid the cat too much attention. With my brother gone, my parents barely let her in the house, not really liking cat hair and the possible germs.

Sometimes, the issue of vaccinations would be brought up but Kicia had never received more than her initial shots and spay as a kitten. Whenever I visited a pet store for Rio I would buy Kicia a collar, as she never had that or name tags. The collars would all soon disappear and she would return to looking like a fully undomesticated being. We all knew Kicia had been a bit neglected but no one was too bothered by it, least of all Kicia #3.

Until last weekend. Tim and I came home from NYC for the weekend and were greeted by, “Kicia has dried blood on her neck, her eyes were glossy and dirty, and she was sleepy.” Worst of all, they had let her back outside, so she was missing. As a doctor, I was expected to evaluate her injury and determine everyone’s need for the rabies vaccination. Knowing that there have been nearly no human rabies cases in the States over the last 30 years, I wasn’t too worried, but couldn’t resist my evil temptation to scare everyone, “well, there are a lot of bats and raccoons.” I was a bit annoyed that what sounded like a dying cat was allowed to go missing.

In the morning, she came back, ate and was allowed to escape again. My mom was beside herself with guilt. “She might have just gone to die now,” I casually and accusingly stated. Around 2 in the afternoon, the cat returned in hope of an afternoon snack. My irritation grew-her neck had no injury whatsoever, it was just dirty. No one had wanted to get near the possible blood to investigate. How could a mortal neck injury be confused with dirty sticky fur????

One good outcome of this was that my guilt-ridden mother took the cat to the vet. We discussed for a while what we were going to say to the vet, how we were going to present this cat. To avoid being brought in front of a PETA jury for neglect and cat abuse, my mom decided to say it was a stray that she recently decided to adopt. We weren’t sure what vaccines she had gotten, how old she was (probably around 8). All we knew was that she had been spayed.

So finally, after 8 or so years of talking about taking the cat to the vet, we finally went through with it. My mother brought her in a kitty carrying case she bought at Walmart. “Oh, you know, she just wandered over to our house recently and we wanted to adopt her.” After careful examination, the vet declared Kicia to be around 2 years old and in need of fixing. She’s 8 (or more) and had been fixed at 6 months. After that, the Ringwelski’s declined the repeat spay and the optional yet expensive HIV and leukemia tests. Kicia’s long-awaited vet visit made my polish immigrant parents, already less than ideal pet owners, so skeptical that I don’t think they’ll ever go back. Until she finally does die, most likely related to coronary artery disease, from teenage obesity.

 

Rainy Fraser Island = Not Bad After All June 23, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tim @ 7:54 am

It was worth it once we got to the hotel. Too bad we’re leaving so soon…

Our original idea was to rent a Land Rover, take a barge over to Fraser Island, and camp on the beach for a few nights. Fraser Island is supposed to be a magical place – sunny year round, a balmy island made completely of sand, boasting attractions like Champagne Pool and Cathedral Beach. Getting out of the airplane in Hervey Bay quickly changed our perception of the magic. It wasn’t until we got into the terminal and our avuncular windbag of a chauffeur stonily told us that it was the coldest weather on record for over 90 years. Since we cut Sydney short in order to flee to warmer northern climes, this was NOT good news.

I’ll spare you the details of how Ania and I blamed each other for something that was patently neither of our faults. The upshot is that we did get the Land Rover (vintage: circa 1982), spent a few hours waiting for our barge, and headed across the Sandy Straits to Fraser, minus a lot of camping equipment that we both agreed would not be necessary on this trip. We were instead heading for the eco-resort at Kingfisher Bay, booked at last minute internet rates from the car rental agent’s laptop computer.

Now, I’ve driven on some pretty bumpy roads before. That definitely did not prepare me for what was in store for us on the drive from the dock to the hotel. It took us nearly a half-hour to drive ten or so kilometers, which I guess works out to us driving about 2.7 miles-per-hour. A picture tells a thousand words, and a video even more, so just check out this clip on YouTube to get a sense of what I mean…

Before I explain how nice the resort was, I want to back up and synopsize our day up until when we checked in. We woke up at 1am yesterday morning due to jetlag and could not fall back asleep. The heat in our YWCA hostel was not working at all, so we laid huddled under the blankets waiting for sleep to return until 5:30, when it was time to wake up, pack, and head to the airport. After a picturesque flight, complete with views of empty white sandy beaches all the way from Sydney to Hervey Bay, we were pretty crabby to find the weather windy and frigid. The next few hours were spent having our chauffeur/car rental agent alternate between explaining our rental agreement and all the wonderful things we could do on the island if the weather didn’t totally suck.

Getting to the hotel changed our mood completely. Because of the weather, Kingfisher Bayreflecting pool Hotel is basically empty right now, and as a result, completely peaceful and relaxing. In a word, vacation-like. Not only that, but it is a legitimate eco-resort – you get that sense just by walking around and seeing the low impact it has on the eucalyptus forest it is planted in the middle of.So after a quiet night of reading, having a few beers, sacking out and actually sleeping through the night, we were fully ready for today’s adventure.

Again, the weather sucked, but that wasn’t the point at all. We spent the entire day either beating the crap out of our remarkably sturdy vehicle on jungle rut-roads and beach dunes, or sipping amazing lattes, cappuccinos, and “flat-white” coffee at various oases of civilization around the island. At one point, while Ania was driving, we “accidentally” jumped a dune so fast that all we could see out the windshield for a split second was gray sky, then lots of sand, and then we were cruising right along again. I glanced down and saw the car’s ashtray sitting in Ania’s lap. At one point, I noticed the driver’s side windshield wiper was missing. We stopped, looked around, and saw it just lying on the hood of the car, completely detached from the car. I’m not a car guy at all, but one thing I do appreciate about these old cars is that while they are easy to break, they are also very easy to fix. We plugged the wiper back on, stuck the ashtray back in its socket, and got right back on our way.

Tomorrow will be another day of exploring the island and doing some eco-tourist stuff organized by the hotel. They even offer a tour of the solid waste and sewerage management facilities, which we will most likely miss. But it’s nice to know they really care about that sort of thing.

We still haven’t figured out our next destination. Maybe Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef, maybe Bali, maybe Ayers Rock or a road trip through the Outback. We’ll figure it our tonight over some beers and Wi-Fi. This is definitely how our kind of traveling – weather be damned.