My new year’s resolution is to work out everyday, lose weight, look good, etc. I signed up for a 1/2 marathon in Napa on March 23rd as inspiration for my new identity, “athlete mom.” I plan on having Michelle Obama arms and losing the Santa belly. My resolve started out strong. I ran 4 miles in the freezing Jan 1st weather while everyone was having New Year’s pancakes around a cozy dining room table. That run felt good. It was snowy. The town was Hopkington, MA where the Boston Marathon starts. It was symbolic and inspirational.
I have worked out every day since then, except that one time I fell asleep in my clothes at 8pm. Unfortunately, my exercise work ethic sucks. Fast forward to today’s run. I planned out my winter running wardrobe yesterday with the extra warm tights, my running hat, warm running fleece. I look so good when it all goes on, it’s hard to deny I’m an athlete mom. I was planning on running in the woods but scrapped that plan A immediately upon stepping outside. Freezing. Not fun. Instead, I schlepped it over to the gym, after nearly ditching my work out for a nice warm cappuccino at Smart World Coffee in Denville. God I love that coffee shop. The owners are from Vermont and serve Vermont coffee, Vermont chocolates, and have yummy croissants. They Y is smelly. But I did it. Only because I still have the Season Finale of 30 Rock to watch. Since the Y got wifi, I am no longer limited to the cooking shows, talk shows, and Fox News on the gym screens. Unfortunately, I can’t run too fast when watching the NBC iPad application, it shakes too much and gives me a headache.
I sprinted across the Y parking lot to start off the workout (it was so cold). I found my favorite treadmill, the one that is almost in the middle of the TV screens but not the one that has an obstructive column over TV#2. I got out my iPad, my headphones, and a large black shower comb (it seemed to be a stow away on the black iPad cover, perhaps sticking to it via static electricity). I wondered if people thought it was gross that I brought my shower comb and wound my headphones on it to make it look like an ingenious Pintrest-like approach to keep my headphones tangle free. I hopped on my treadmill, started the workout by pressing Quickstart (I never mess with any other setting), and went to work. Went to work on getting my 30 Rock episode. But alas. What is this? 1 bar for the YMCA wifi????? Can’t even get past the GE limited commercial disruption??? I’m stuck with a blurry screen of Liz Lemon. Netflix didn’t work either and I couldn’t watch a newly released comedy about butter, called “Butter.” I gave it some time. Maybe the cosmic waves in the inter web were very busy and the bars would come back. In the meantime, I watched a cooking show about making meatballs in 3 different ways. One was frying, one in the oven, one for appetizers to be served with toothpicks. The cook is a middle aged white man with glasses who dresses up in period costume to demonstrate his points (his mother’s appetizer meatballs with the toothpicks had him in Greatful Dead clothes). Still no 30 Rock. I changed my treadmill to the other side of the gym. Then again back even closer to the office (that must be where the router is). And one last time. I considered the bikes since they were the closest to the outside, but that was not going to help me run a 1/2 marathon. I got so frustrated, I left after I calculated a cumulative 2 mile run between all the machines. I left angry. And lost my comb in the meantime. Asking about it was a little embarrassing, “Excuse me, I believe I left a black shower comb on that treadmill over there, have you seen it perchance?” and I tried not to bother any of the runners. I have a white shower comb at home but this one was just better.